Different

from Is Hopeful by Faithful Johannes

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lyrics

When I was at school I had a centre parting
And I was far too gentle-hearted
I should never have listened to my sister
It thickened, grew and got much bigger
The tough kids out by the shops would snigger
And I couldn’t talk to my babysitter
I needed more than a pair of scissors
Some style advice, and a cut with clippers
Now I had strong strong strong
Feelings and
I had long long long
Obsessions
That I never cared to mention
I tried prayers for my redemption
But all I got was hypertension
It was my fault
I thought
That what I sought went unanswered and left me empty

I was always on my best behaviour
A chaste teenager
Quietly denatured
I was always on my best behaviour
A secret unbeliever
You can’t slip your own skin

I was told god watched me every moment
From inside my head, not in the open
Now that’s fine if you believe it
But as a kid it made me feel guilt
For tiny things
Like Losing Uncle Arthur’s gold ring
The toy car stolen from the grass
Or for having a crush on someone in my class
Especially if their parents had the wrong kind of beliefs
Oh, I felt trapped for weeks
It took a long time to say how I felt different
But I did
And everything turned out alright
But I did
And everything turned out alright

Now I had strong strong strong
Feelings and
I had long long long
Obsessions
That I never cared to mention
I tried prayers for my redemption
But all I got was hypertension
It was my fault
I thought
That what I sought went unanswered and left me empty

I was always on my best behaviour
A chaste teenager
Quietly denatured
I was always on my best behaviour
A secret unbeliever
You can’t slip your own skin

credits

from Is Hopeful, released February 5, 2021

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